UPDATED TIER LIST, FINAL

S Tier: Excellent life choices.
Uninstalling BFV: You free up a ton of SSD space, which can be used for Modern Warfare or other games.
Waiting for Modern Warfare: Waiting for one of the best FPS games to be released in ages. Genuinely incredible potential, paired with one of the most hype FPS trailers ever.

A+ Tier: Very good life choices.
Playing non-BFV Battlefield titles: Note that this does not refer to pre-Frostbite titles. BF3, 4, Hardline, and 1 are all great games with their own merits.
Playing other shooters in general: There are plenty of very good FPS games out there. I personally recommend Black Ops 2, Battalion 1944, and krunker.io. krunker is an incredibly polished and fun game with hype movement and very fun guns, and can probably be run on a calculator. The development cost for krunker.io was also likely lower than the cost of a single an eighth of a BFV Elite skin, so it is worth marveling at this wonder of modern technology.

A Tier: Good life choices.
JU88A (a.k.a JU️️️): 16x 50kg bombs cleanse the map of enemy zergs that you can't even see. Very relaxing.
Churchill Crocodile: Archer rate of fire with Tiger damage. Yeet on everything from the ground. Make sure to kick all your squadmates from the squad to help ensure no one takes the flamethrower, which can obscure your vision and lessen your ability to farm the enemy into oblivion.
Sturmtiger: Ridiculous amounts of splash damage. The best sniper rifle in the game. While bolt actions are generally limited to one shot, one kill, the Sturmtiger can one shot, many kills. Automatic grenade launcher for a friend is nice as well.

A- Tier: Not a good life choice, but not necessarily a waste of time.
Playing Battle Royale: Although the genre sucks, most Battle Royale games are pretty polished, and you get the satisfaction of knowing you dunked on up to 99 other people when you win.

B Tier: Better off taking a nap, eating, or relaxing. A slightly questionable use of time.
Non-JU88A bombers: Less big chungus than 16x 50kg bombs, but you can still cleanse the map of enemy zergs that you can't even see.
Medium tanks: The ultimate FPS experience. You can take your left hand off the keyboard and use it to eat chips with, and use your right hand to delete enemies with the Pz4 or Mk8. Great point and click adventure, albeit somewhat boring.

B- Tier: If you truly have nothing better to do, I guess.
V-1 Boosting: Sit in the water or throw incendiary grenades at the ground and spam bandages with your squadmates. Your squad will dominate the scoreboard with 0 kills per person, and you have the potential to drop 6+ V-1 rockets over the course of a round, which makes you instantly cooler than the 60 other players in the server. Ultimate P T F O and squadplay.
Revive locking: Hammer ‘E’ on a revivable teammate to lock them in an everlasting bleedout state, rendering them incapable of playing unless you die, you get bored, or they leave the server, whichever comes first.

C+ Tier: Not the worst waste of time ever, but still questionable.
In-game commander: Sit in your spawn screen and use the "all" chat to tell the enemy team where your teammates sit. It's like playing an RTS, but your units only sometimes listen to you.

C Tier: Not quite sure what you’re doing with your time here.
Non-bomber planes: While certainly better at getting kills than the two techniques above, they don't make people as angry. Also, without a bomber, you are truly confronted with how terrible air balance and mechanics are in BFV.
Non-medium tanks: Similar as above. Without the sheer cheese ability of call-in tanks or medium tanks, you have to face the reality of BFV vehicle gameplay being terrible.

C- Tier: Only worth doing to help a friend.
Rep monkey: You have to play infantry, but at least you're helping friendly tanks contribute to increasing enemy misery.

D Tier: Why are you doing this to yourself? Waste of time.
Playing infantry: Pick between Assault, Support, Medic, Recon to choose which type of attrition you don't want to suffer from. Get farmed by a multitude of vehicles, and die to other infantry players that you can't even see.

D- Tier: I’m almost sorry that you are wasting your life away doing this.
Playing Medic and actually reviving people: You are increasing your own misery by making yourself vulnerable and taking time away from your opportunity to kill people. You also have pretty much no explosives.

гоVно окончательно В С Ё, помянем