Отзыв на Кристофера Хайята, взято с Реддита

I bought this book about a month ago because for most of my practice I've had an aversion to "energy" based systems. I've always felt like it is all just in your head and energy and chakras are just tenuous metaphors. After a weird experience last year I realized things I have an aversion to are usually the things I'm going to learn the most from. This book combines Reichian Therapy with meditation and sex magick.

I did the first exercise for the first time on the 27th at night and had trouble sleeping afterwards because I had so much energy. I did it again the next morning and was in one of the best moods I've been in months and got a lot more than usual done at work. Afterwards I had one of the strongest workouts I've ever had.

That night I took a psychedelic dose of cannabis edibles. I didn't know it was going to be enough to make me trip, it's just what happened. My friend made me a batch of cookies that are obscenely strong. He is an alchemist when it comes to edibles.

I had been experiencing what he meant by thoughts manifest themselves as tensions in the body earlier when I was doing the experiments but the process was supercharged while I was high. I've had a tension in my neck on the left side(and I have tonsil stones on that side) and a tension around my stomach. I have had bad acid reflux for the last 8 months that doctors haven't been able to help me with.

My root chakra opened up and it felt like it was literally burning from the inside out. My navel chakra didn't do anything and my solar chakra started opening up. It was almost like it was shaking and poring black smoke. Keep in mind that prior to this I didn't believe in chakras. Suddenly I was FLOODED with suppressed memories from childhood.

I became absolutely horrified that I was gay. I felt this as tension around my stomach, jaw, and neck. I couldn't seem to let myself let go of it.

As I came down my paranoia went away and I realized I was just hit with an entire lifetime of suppressed gay thoughts. I've known I'm a bit bisexual intellectually for a long time but have always suppressed the emotions surrounding it- specifically the fear.

I was raised in a very conservative christian environment and my dad is a homophobe. The memory that came up is vague but when I was a kid I lived next door to an odd kid who was clearly gay even at 7 or 8(not that I knew at the time). He had an obsession with girls and I remember him talking about how much he liked kissing girls and boys. Something happened between me and him. Maybe we kissed, maybe we hugged or just talked about kissing girls, I have no idea. Whatever it was it was innocent. Anyways, later he got caught doing something with someone other guy in the neighborhood. He got "sent away", I didn't know where at the time but it was probably just his dad's house. Social Services came and talked to all the kids in the neighborhood, and I hid what I had done from them and my parents. This entire event was horrifying to my dad and I heard a lot of his opinions. I became convinced that I was gay(not knowing what the word even meant) and knew I needed to hide this part of myself forever or social services would come and get me and make me burn in hell forever.

Interestingly the girl he was kissing is a girl I dated in high school. We have come close to getting back together countless times since then. We have intense chemistry but there is just a block between us. We can't get together but we can't let each other go either. After making out with her at a party a year ago I realized the reason we are so attracted to each other is because we have the same kind of damage. She was also raised in an intensely conservative environment and I'm sure she has a similar repressed memory about the same event. Now that I understand the Karma, I think I can let go of the relationship for good.

When I hit puberty and became interested in women this "original sin" manifest itself in a thousand different guises of "I can't get girls because I'm a loser." I'm 23 I have incredible control over every other aspect of my life(some might even say magick control). However I'm still a virgin and have found relationships impossible even though women love me. I've had some kind of vague sexual shame my entire life that has been impenetrable from every angle. It's ruined every single relationship I've ever tried to have. Doing the first exercise in this book twice with the help of some marijuana unlocked a Freudian cyst of sexual repression. I'm sure I'm well on my way to healing my acid reflux and tonsil stones as well.

This book might read like the rantings of a psychopath but the exercises in it work. I can't imagine what working all the way through the book is going to do to me.

Also, I can't shake how much this feels like an inquisition story.

Thanks for reading.

edit: TL;DR: Energized Meditation works, there's crazy shit stored in your repressed memories, and you will get the most out of the kinds of practice that you want to avoid.