I: — Does it say “recording”?
M: — mm–mm…
I: — Well, how come it doesn’t?
M: — There aren’t any “recording”…
I: — REC.
M: — There’s no rec!
I: — K, I’ve got it… Anyone could go crazy having to deal with you… Right here! What is that? What does it say? It’s now recording and I’ve closed the fuckin’ camera view… Whatever, let it be. Right! Start filming, make sure I’m in focus and all the other shit… Living with you will definitely make one lose his sanity…

— Good afternoon, honorable gentlemen! My name is Igor Goffman and I am from Herson, Ukraine. There’s something interesting I wanted to share with you today. These particular events started occurring... well... they began occurring almost from the very moment I was born.
There were also lots of triggers for those events, particularly few of them began from a situation I am about to describe:
Well, when we were still in the Soviet Union, we used to have a door. We then later changed it for a new metal one, and put the old one standing on the balcony. Then, an Azerbaijani called me, we know each other, we’re friends, and says he saw the door on the balcony when walking by and wants to buy it. He calls me and says: I’ll buy that door. Alright then! Alright.
Then, after a while… well… basically… Well, he didn’t really much… mmmm… It’s just that… well… ….. just forget that door…. And then, one night, I had… a hunch, of some sort, specifically telling me to complete a certain… something like… a given algorithm. I laid down on the sofa, put my feet up on to the table (points finger at the table), I’ve put my feet on to the chair and opened the window. I had these “thoughts”, that I have this… mm… so–called “friend”… well, me personally, I know he goes by the name of Evgeniy Dmitrievich Broom and basically I’ve seen him once… I really hope you are aware that concepts like APPEARANCE TRANSFORMATION exist…
M: (interrupting) — How long is this going to continue?
I: — It is going to continue.
M: — Hell no, my hand hurts from holding the camera.
I: — That’s it. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
M: — I’m already tired.
I: — Fuck you.